Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
