Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
are you so shy because you have an std?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
