david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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