dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i will never coherently bang her
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
