I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
