I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
