Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
