I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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