He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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