You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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