Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
