You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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