Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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