I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
