i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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