Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
