I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We just shotgunned beers for America
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm too high and old for this...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
