Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So gin and wine won't be happening again
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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