The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
