Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
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