i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
