I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize