can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
