I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
