What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Randomize
