You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
