the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
