Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
