She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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