Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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