Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
