how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
