you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
