If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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