So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
