My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
