Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
