did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
What drink are we having for lunch?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
