I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
