You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
