this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
