I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
