Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
