Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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