So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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