nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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