Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
