i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
