that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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