People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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